Put It There!

This week my son and I will be traveling to Texas. He will be finishing his last year of high school with his mom. He will be a 1,000 miles away and I can tell you it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. All of sudden, this little boy is now eighteen years old and ready to take the first steps into the world. I couldn't be prouder of Ryan. He's got a big heart, great values, and has a strong devotion to his family.

When Ryan was younger, he spent his early years with his mom. During those years, I worked non-stop. I always found time to be at Ryan's significant events and was always there for him as best as I could - so I thought at least. About eight years ago, I knew this wonderful man named Ralph Bender. He was a World War II veteran and had fought in four major battles. He was one of the first guys to storm the beaches at Normandy. He was part of the Army Corp of Engineers. This man had seen everything his lifetime. The stories he shared with me were unmeasurable in terms of the impact on my life. I was in awe of him in so many ways. He, like me, was not much of a talker. With him it was never about the quantity of words but the quality. One day, I was visiting him at his house and he asked me how things were going and I mentioned that I was working a bunch of hours on a special project at the time. All of sudden, he asked me to take a ride with him. He drove me to a local cemetery. We walked through this cemetery and he asked me to look around on the head stones and read their inscriptions. He asked me if I noticed a pattern with these inscriptions. I was stupid and just couldn't seem to make the connection. "If you look around you will see inscriptions like....Beloved Father, Loving Mother, Loving Daughter, etc", he stated. "Did you notice that none of these headstones stated what these people did in their professional career? You don't see....Great Programmer, Beloved Lawyer, Loving Manager, etc", he said. That was a defining moment in my life. I was calm in the understanding of that but also saddened by the reality of my situation. What an idiot I was.

Since that defining moment, I realized that my legacy was not going to be what I did in my professional career. It would be the son I left behind. It changed me. I focused a great deal of my energy on preparing Ryan for the moment he would begin his journey into the world. Ryan spent the last six years with me while his mother was in Texas. During that time, we had some wonderful times together. Yes, there were the teenage moments where he drove my wife and I crazy but they were brief periods of time. Now, those moments are more precious than ever. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling. I'm very sad that he's leaving but I'm proud of him for wanting to take these first steps on his own. I look back and wonder where all the time went. I still remember as if it was yesterday; the first time I saw Ryan in that hospital in El Paso, Texas on April 11, 1989. Next year, he'll be off to college. Wow!

The good news is that with modern technology such as cell phones, blogs, video iChat, and youTube we'll be able to stay in contact. Also, Carol and I are already planning our quarterly trips to Texas. Going to rack up those frequent flyer miles.

Give Me Your Hand I'd Like To Shake It
I Want To Show You I'm Your Friend.
You'll Understand If I Can Make It Clear
Its All That Matters In The End.

Put It There If It Weighs A Ton,
That's What The Father Said To His Younger Son.
I Don't Care If It Weighs A Ton,
As Long As You And I Are Here, Put It There.
Long As You And I Are Here, Put It There.

- Paul McCartney - Put It There